Fear Not!

Well I titled this post, fear not, thinking about all the worrying I've been doing in my brief time as an adult. Jesus says, "Don't be afraid; just believe." and again in Mark 4 to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" And I wonder, what's wrong with me? I believe. I have faith. But when faced with the freeways of Los Angeles or thinking about having to fly 30,000 miles over the mountains or seas in an airplane, I get a sudden onset of total panic in which I feel that my heart is beating so strongly out of my chest, that I must be having a heart attack. I guess I've always been the kind of woman who wants to have control. Being in the midst of millions of other cars on the CA-91 or having zero effect on whether the pilot has enough rest and competency to land us safely, does not assure me that I have any options or controls of how the situation will play out.


Of course, as a parent, I wonder about my children's well being, how they will make friends at different schools along their journeys through life, picking the right college, whether they will meet the right mate to marry for life, and if my grandchildren will be taken care of. And then there's me. Will I ever pay off all those student loans? Will people like me? Am I really a good wife/mother/daughter/friend? These sorts of thoughts keep me awake at night and I am GRATEFUL that I had the good wisdom to start really searching my Bible for peace--real peace, that only comes from a omnipotent, omnipresent God. He lead me to feel out a few verses and to try a couple different recovery meetings recently where it hit me that I am also powerless over my anxiety, and I must turn it over to Him to handle. 


Last week, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Basically, my body feels pain in multiple places at random times- like my back, neck, head, knee, and chest, with very few physical tangible reasons.Another group of symptoms involve depression, anxiety, fatigue, and insomnia. There is no cure or cause. But I will not let this rule over me, holding me back, and stealing my joy. My hope is in the Lord. I have been through so much, yet have been given such freedom and happiness in having a renewed relationship with Jesus, my family, and having good friends. The Psalmist wrote, "He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies in the day. Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Psalm 91:4-7 NLT


So I will keep my chin up, remembering that His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me!!! The day may seem hard, the night even longer, you might feel lonely at times, but God is with you wherever you are. We can ruin a chance to sit at Jesus' feet by fretting over a meal and what others are doing, just as Martha did. Or we can choose to rest in the love of God and have faith like a child. I leave you with this verse my family and I just spent time memorizing last week.

 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Phil. 4:8

I'm Trading My Sorows

In one of our classes at school recently we were posed with a question: Why did God chose this world to perserve freedom and defeat evil?

This got me thinking a little bit about my hometown. There has been around a dozen people in the past two years whom I either grew up with, knew their children, or by way of my parents-- who has recently left this earth unexpectedly. Many people in this small tight-knit community are saddened by this fact and it leaves us wondering the age old question, why does God let bad things happen to good people? Why does God let anything bad happen? How can a God who is all about love, allow a world to have evil or sorrow in it?

Which gets me back to the original question which our class was challenged to answer. Because God does love us, He has given us a free will. We can either choose Him and be a part of His family, or we can choose to live a part from Him. We know that being 'in sin' is living apart from God. If we want to live in the mainstream pop culture and "fit in" with what the world says is cool, then are we really living according to God's will for our lives?

God calls us to be a holy people. This is only done out of our love for Him, living in constant fellowship with Him, and allowing His power, given to us by His Holy Spirit, to choose what is right and true. I used to live to do what pleased Misty. I chose to make bad choices and turn away from the Lord's light and path for me. But I think everyone comes to a crossroads at some point in their life where they have to decide: Will I choose life or do I choose "self-pleasing", the world, and ultimately death? It may not be that clear to everyone, but it really is our own individual decision. I praise the Lord for my 'opportunity' at a young age (25) to come to the crossroads and see clearly the path of destruction versus the path to His Kingdom.

Jesus said in John 15:9, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, as I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." (NIV) So living a Christian life may be hard. We will suffer here. There will exist for a time, pain, sorrows, grieving, and hurt. All this has its place as God gives us freedom to make choices and ultimately, should we choose His way, we will no longer have pain and sorrow in heaven with Him.

So why here why now is our freedom preserved and evil allowed? This may not be the best possible situation, but it is the best way to the best world. If God is to both preserve freedom and defeat evil, then he has to ensure that each person is given the chance to make his own free choice to determine his destiny. Evil is overcome in that, once those who reject God are separated from the others, the decisions of all are made permanent. Sin will cease to exist. The ultimate goal for God's perfect world after judgment with free humans will have been achieved, but He can only do it by casting out those who abuse their freedom.

"I have told you these things, so that in me, you can have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." --Jesus, (John 16:33 NIV)