Friday, January 21, 2011

I will Sing!

"Sing to the Lord a new song, sing to the Lord all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise His name, proclaim His salvation day after day. Declare His glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples, For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;" Psalm 96:1-4

Growing up in a musical family, I loved to play piano, guitar, sing, dance, and do anything involving making music. My brothers and I would harmonize and sing until the late hours of the morning if we could talk our mother into it. She didn't always like us staying up late, but I suspect her own love for music convinced her on occasion.

When I became lost in the downward spiral of addiction I stopped singing. My depression and despair became so great that I lost my voice. Looking back, it was probably that singing gives me great joy. It is something I believe God gives us as a gift, which is to be used to worship Him and exalt Him. Because I was not in His will, I had no use for making a 'new song'. My joy did not exist-only a false shell of worldly possessions, overrated hypes and highs, and long periods of loneliness.

After I came back to the Lord, I wanted to sing. And sing, and sing, and sing. He has saved me and set me free and I will praise Him with my voice wholeheartedly. What a blessing it is to know that my children are also a part of this musical ministry that has been growing inside my soul. Pray for my kids, if you will, that they never have to lose the song in their heart.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

All Your Anxieties

Whew! Another Christmas season in the past and the new year is upon us. What a fantastic ride it has been so far. I was blessed to be able to spend some much needed quality time with my family in Big Bear, CA and we had a wonderful white Christmas with sledding, snow ball fights, and snowmen.

A few nights ago I was able to spend some good quality time with my youngest Jayna. We giggled and talked and the time was very special for both of us. I shared with her how she was my little miracle baby as she came at just the right time in my life to save me from a depression that had been creeping up on me before she was born. In the next couple months, there will be several different trips where I will have to be away from my children so I love how the Lord provides these unique little moments for me to bond with my kids. Before Jayna and I knew it, it was too late and Daddy came in to tell us it was bedtime.

Now that we are back to the grind of school and homework, I felt myself become very inundated with the hectic schedule of reading and writing. At my discipleship group yesterday I shared with my sisters in Christ how overwhelmed by the amount of reading and things to do we had and wondered if I would get out of this rut I seemed to be in this week. A wise woman told me that we only can tackle the tasks at hand one day at a time. Even now, this is true. We can plan for the future so it doesn't creep up and suprise us, but for now, worry about today.

When I told my youngest that she saved me, she summed up my New Year's motto. "I didn't save you Momma, God did." How true this is! No matter what anxieties we have and what life brings us, God will see us through it and it is become of Him that we are able to accomplish anything.

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9