"Sing to the Lord a new song, sing to the Lord all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise His name, proclaim His salvation day after day. Declare His glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples, For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise;" Psalm 96:1-4
Growing up in a musical family, I loved to play piano, guitar, sing, dance, and do anything involving making music. My brothers and I would harmonize and sing until the late hours of the morning if we could talk our mother into it. She didn't always like us staying up late, but I suspect her own love for music convinced her on occasion.
When I became lost in the downward spiral of addiction I stopped singing. My depression and despair became so great that I lost my voice. Looking back, it was probably that singing gives me great joy. It is something I believe God gives us as a gift, which is to be used to worship Him and exalt Him. Because I was not in His will, I had no use for making a 'new song'. My joy did not exist-only a false shell of worldly possessions, overrated hypes and highs, and long periods of loneliness.
After I came back to the Lord, I wanted to sing. And sing, and sing, and sing. He has saved me and set me free and I will praise Him with my voice wholeheartedly. What a blessing it is to know that my children are also a part of this musical ministry that has been growing inside my soul. Pray for my kids, if you will, that they never have to lose the song in their heart.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
All Your Anxieties
Whew! Another Christmas season in the past and the new year is upon us. What a fantastic ride it has been so far. I was blessed to be able to spend some much needed quality time with my family in Big Bear, CA and we had a wonderful white Christmas with sledding, snow ball fights, and snowmen.
A few nights ago I was able to spend some good quality time with my youngest Jayna. We giggled and talked and the time was very special for both of us. I shared with her how she was my little miracle baby as she came at just the right time in my life to save me from a depression that had been creeping up on me before she was born. In the next couple months, there will be several different trips where I will have to be away from my children so I love how the Lord provides these unique little moments for me to bond with my kids. Before Jayna and I knew it, it was too late and Daddy came in to tell us it was bedtime.
Now that we are back to the grind of school and homework, I felt myself become very inundated with the hectic schedule of reading and writing. At my discipleship group yesterday I shared with my sisters in Christ how overwhelmed by the amount of reading and things to do we had and wondered if I would get out of this rut I seemed to be in this week. A wise woman told me that we only can tackle the tasks at hand one day at a time. Even now, this is true. We can plan for the future so it doesn't creep up and suprise us, but for now, worry about today.
When I told my youngest that she saved me, she summed up my New Year's motto. "I didn't save you Momma, God did." How true this is! No matter what anxieties we have and what life brings us, God will see us through it and it is become of Him that we are able to accomplish anything.
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
A few nights ago I was able to spend some good quality time with my youngest Jayna. We giggled and talked and the time was very special for both of us. I shared with her how she was my little miracle baby as she came at just the right time in my life to save me from a depression that had been creeping up on me before she was born. In the next couple months, there will be several different trips where I will have to be away from my children so I love how the Lord provides these unique little moments for me to bond with my kids. Before Jayna and I knew it, it was too late and Daddy came in to tell us it was bedtime.
Now that we are back to the grind of school and homework, I felt myself become very inundated with the hectic schedule of reading and writing. At my discipleship group yesterday I shared with my sisters in Christ how overwhelmed by the amount of reading and things to do we had and wondered if I would get out of this rut I seemed to be in this week. A wise woman told me that we only can tackle the tasks at hand one day at a time. Even now, this is true. We can plan for the future so it doesn't creep up and suprise us, but for now, worry about today.
When I told my youngest that she saved me, she summed up my New Year's motto. "I didn't save you Momma, God did." How true this is! No matter what anxieties we have and what life brings us, God will see us through it and it is become of Him that we are able to accomplish anything.
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Monday, December 27, 2010
A Foggy Lens
Last night, sitting in a rented cabin with my children on Christmas vacation, my son began to complain that his eyes were burning. I realized that smoke was pouring in from the fireplace and soon my eyes stung while the thick, dark smoke began to fill the room. We eventually got the flew open wider and a gust of cold winter wind helped clear the room once the window was opened, but for a brief second we couldn't see very well and felt the pain of the smoke in our eyes.
Like the smoke burning our eyes so that we could not see, so it is with our earthly journey while we continue to walk in sin. The song "Amazing Grace" talks of this metaphor of being blind. . . "I once was blind, but now I see. . ." In describing my conversion experience to a friend last summer, I, too, spoke of how my period of falling away from God's grace was like stumbling around in darkness, unsure of myself, my life or purpose, and everything in the world was askewed in my mind because of seeing through a foggy lens. Once Jesus came into my heart, I was guided by the light of the Holy Spirit and it was as though the "foggy lens" was removed from my eyes and I could see what was right, true, and what God's ultimate plan was for me--to love and worship Him unselfishly. While we may fall if trying to walk around in darkness, or be stung by smoke in our eyes, we will utimately perish if we continue in this life without the light of God. Without Him, we are all blind and dead in our transgressions.
Isaiah 42:16, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These things I will do; I will not forsake them."
Praise to the Lord for He allowed us to 'rise above the smoke. . .or fog, or darkness'. He sent the Light of the World, Jesus His Son to be born amongst us. How AWESOME is that? The Creator of the Universe came to become human, and then suffered and died to take on the sins of mankind! All so we can walk with Him, by His light. So accept this invitation today. Choose to no longer stumble around in darkness and pain without a Savior who can show you the way.
Jesus said in John 12:46, "I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should abide in darkness." Let it be so!
Like the smoke burning our eyes so that we could not see, so it is with our earthly journey while we continue to walk in sin. The song "Amazing Grace" talks of this metaphor of being blind. . . "I once was blind, but now I see. . ." In describing my conversion experience to a friend last summer, I, too, spoke of how my period of falling away from God's grace was like stumbling around in darkness, unsure of myself, my life or purpose, and everything in the world was askewed in my mind because of seeing through a foggy lens. Once Jesus came into my heart, I was guided by the light of the Holy Spirit and it was as though the "foggy lens" was removed from my eyes and I could see what was right, true, and what God's ultimate plan was for me--to love and worship Him unselfishly. While we may fall if trying to walk around in darkness, or be stung by smoke in our eyes, we will utimately perish if we continue in this life without the light of God. Without Him, we are all blind and dead in our transgressions.
Isaiah 42:16, "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These things I will do; I will not forsake them."
Praise to the Lord for He allowed us to 'rise above the smoke. . .or fog, or darkness'. He sent the Light of the World, Jesus His Son to be born amongst us. How AWESOME is that? The Creator of the Universe came to become human, and then suffered and died to take on the sins of mankind! All so we can walk with Him, by His light. So accept this invitation today. Choose to no longer stumble around in darkness and pain without a Savior who can show you the way.
Jesus said in John 12:46, "I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should abide in darkness." Let it be so!
Monday, December 20, 2010
A Simple Gift
The question was asked this past week at a Women's meeting, what is the best gift you have received? I answered that I received a letter from a school teacher. Enclosed was a paper written by my eldest daughter Kylie, in which she shared how proud she was of me for all the trials and hardships I had overcome. It was then that I knew she had totally forgiven me.
Did I deserve forgiveness from her? After battling substance abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and putting motherhood on the back burner, probably not. But because Jesus died for me, I am able to receive grace and forgiveness from God. The road back to the path He has chosen for me was not always an easy one. Many people came alongside me and there were times when I was scared, sad, and lonely. So while the letter was a great gift, so is the joy I have in knowing I am now blameless in the Lord's eyes.
This past weekend my two eldest children, Kylie and Daylen, visited a nursing home to assist the Salvation Army in handing out a bit of Christmas cheer in the form of socks and mugs. We thought it would be fun if we brought along some song sheets and a guitar and the three of us went room to room with Kylie playing the guitar as we sang carol after carol for the residents. Before too long, a young girl with her two smaller cousins heard us and we invited them to join in the song. The people who lived in that home smiled as every child wished them a Merry Christmas. Most of them were suffering from depression, loneliness, and hadn't had many (if any) visitors in quite some time. They received our prayers, songs, and gifts and openly hugged and shook our hands. What normally would take around an hour and a half, took over three hours in order to complete the distribution. When all was said and done, both of my kids exclaimed how fun it was to be able to give just a little bit of their hearts to the old folks. Yes it took some time and effort, but I know they are headed in the right direction when they asked "when are we caroling at the kettle, mom?".
My beautiful children who I nearly lost to my selfishness and addiction are a precious gift to me. Their tender hearts that willingly share what they have, be it a song, smile, prayer, or socks, is a gift to anyone who receives it. And the joy and peace we have from knowing that God our heavenly Father loves us enough to give us His Son Jesus, that we may receive His light to shine throughout the darkness in the world. . . well words just can't describe HIS awesomeness.
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16 - NIV
Did I deserve forgiveness from her? After battling substance abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and putting motherhood on the back burner, probably not. But because Jesus died for me, I am able to receive grace and forgiveness from God. The road back to the path He has chosen for me was not always an easy one. Many people came alongside me and there were times when I was scared, sad, and lonely. So while the letter was a great gift, so is the joy I have in knowing I am now blameless in the Lord's eyes.
This past weekend my two eldest children, Kylie and Daylen, visited a nursing home to assist the Salvation Army in handing out a bit of Christmas cheer in the form of socks and mugs. We thought it would be fun if we brought along some song sheets and a guitar and the three of us went room to room with Kylie playing the guitar as we sang carol after carol for the residents. Before too long, a young girl with her two smaller cousins heard us and we invited them to join in the song. The people who lived in that home smiled as every child wished them a Merry Christmas. Most of them were suffering from depression, loneliness, and hadn't had many (if any) visitors in quite some time. They received our prayers, songs, and gifts and openly hugged and shook our hands. What normally would take around an hour and a half, took over three hours in order to complete the distribution. When all was said and done, both of my kids exclaimed how fun it was to be able to give just a little bit of their hearts to the old folks. Yes it took some time and effort, but I know they are headed in the right direction when they asked "when are we caroling at the kettle, mom?".
My beautiful children who I nearly lost to my selfishness and addiction are a precious gift to me. Their tender hearts that willingly share what they have, be it a song, smile, prayer, or socks, is a gift to anyone who receives it. And the joy and peace we have from knowing that God our heavenly Father loves us enough to give us His Son Jesus, that we may receive His light to shine throughout the darkness in the world. . . well words just can't describe HIS awesomeness.
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16 - NIV
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